Monday, June 2, 2014

Hard on myself

The last several days have been tough on my self-esteem.  Some days I am so hard on myself for making one silly mistake.  Other days I feel like everything I do is wrong.  Some days I wonder why I even have this blog and then the thought of stopping blogging makes me sad because I love going back and see what I wrote about.  

Work has been extra stressful for me lately.  Not only do I feel overwhelmed and burnt out, but I also feel like I can do nothing right there as of lately.  Being pregnant is not only physically exhausting, it's also mentally exhausting.  Pregnancy brain is NO JOKE and I have a severe case of it.  Before being pregnant, I had the best memory.  Now, it's mush.  

We picked out a daycare for our Baby Boy 2 weeks ago.  I am happy with our choice but still the thought of having to take him there 5 days a week stresses me out.  I even asked my mom if he would remember that I am still his mama after he will be there at least 50 hours a week.  I feel guilty in putting him into daycare, but I have too.  We cannot afford life without 2 incomes at this moment.  I know that Andy is doing everything he can to help provide for our family, but the job market isn't in our favor at this moment.  Then the thought of leaving my job field is stressful to think about because it took me 3 years AFTER graduation just for a company to give me a chance at working in Human Resources, if I left to be a stay at home mom, would I be able to even get back into the work force in Human Resources?

These are just some thoughts and frustrations in my head at this moment.  The weekend was nice to be with Andy, the fur-babies and family.  We didn't have much planned and just being around those who I love is what makes my life happy.  I had been dying to get into the pool and just relax but over the weekend, it wasn't possible.  Next weekend I am hoping to get some Vitamin D and just relax in my mom's pool.  

This is a typical day in our house, anytime we are home, Smokey and Keeley are in the same room as us.  CANNOT wait for Baby Boy to be here with us too!

Andy making beer Saturday morning!  He was a happy fella to get that going.

Whoa baby bump!!  I think tank tops make the bump stick out so far!

Watching TV and my puppy cuddling with her mama!  LOVE HER!!

I was sitting outside waiting for my mom Sunday morning and Keeley sat with me.

I think it's safe to say, Keeley loves her mama!
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Linnea said...

Sorry you are feeling overwhelmed friend. I love reading your blog. Though we don't have children now, I will be like you someday down the road having to bring my baby to daycare. He will be just fine. :)

Brittney, Breaking Free said...

I think pregnancy can make you feel overwhelmed at time because theres so much going on but really not a lot you can do about it. Hang in there it will get better!
My son started daycare a few months ago and he loves it :)

Jen said...

Hugs sweet friend! You are doing amazing!

Ali said...

He will ABSOLUTELY know that you're his mama. And he'll eventually know how hard his parents are working to provide for him. Some of my favorite moments (after the exhaustion fades a bit) were feeding and rocking my boys in the middle of the night. So quiet. Just us in our own little world while everyone is asleep. So amazingly precious.

Ali said...

Oh, and I LOVE the tank top bump pic. Need to see it in person soon!! : )

Beth Ann said...

Awww. It will all work out. Give it over to God... He will provide and work it all out for your good! You look adorable!

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